tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9866194.post5017995542790662453..comments2024-01-15T15:09:57.893-08:00Comments on Skye Puppy: Games Men PlaySkyePuppyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01571489259897997518noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9866194.post-78358713049011053092011-11-23T09:43:55.815-08:002011-11-23T09:43:55.815-08:00Christina,
He called last night. Cave Time: 3-1/2...Christina,<br /><br />He called last night. Cave Time: 3-1/2 weeks.<br /><br />No further updates. :o)SkyePuppyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01571489259897997518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9866194.post-73497765785657910672011-11-06T19:49:02.211-08:002011-11-06T19:49:02.211-08:00Anonymous,
It's interesting you mentioned a m...Anonymous,<br /><br />It's interesting you mentioned a mine field, because I once sent an email to a friend about dating being a mine field as a spectator sport. Think of a sports arena with a giant boxing ring that's a mine field, and the poor woman (or man) must negotiate it safely while everyone they know is watching and probably betting too.<br /><br />After I read your comment, I realized that I hadn't been clear enough in my intentional lack of clarity, and that gave the wrong impression of where the conversation went. What I talked about was my Boundaries, Expectations and Values (not so sure about the Signals), as in, "Ain't gonna happen outside of marriage, Pal." Of course, I didn't call him "Pal" or say it quite that way, but I was very clear about my values.<br /><br />The problem with that is that a first date is supposed to be lighter, a getting to know each other without making any assumptions about where things may or may not go from there. If she feels the need to draw the line for him from the get-go, he may be offended that she expected the relationship to go far enough that a conversation like that was necessary. After all, that's his decision too, and if she's going to bring that up first thing, then maybe she's going to be too much trouble and he should think about finding someone else who isn't so demanding.<br /><br />Also, on a first date, the woman must NEVER EVER say the "M" word (marriage) in any context whatsoever, for the same offensive-assumption reason. And she must never discuss past relationships, because this is about him, not those other guys. Unfortunately, I did all of that too. I'm pretty sure I blindsided him.<br /><br />As for his not calling back within a week, his previous calls before the date were 2 - 3 weeks apart, for reasons it's not my place to say in a public forum, so that's why I'm giving him until next weekend before I give up.<br /><br />And that other guy who didn't get the message, the only mixed signal I can think of is that I agreed to go out to dinner with him after I met him on the dance floor and had a conversation with him. Is that the sort of thing that signals to a man that a woman is the type who would go away with him for the weekend? If so, yes, I gave him the wrong signals. If not, then he was focusing only on his own hopes and expectations, and he didn't WANT to hear "No."<br /><br />I'm so glad you posted a comment. It's nice to get a man's perspective on something like this.SkyePuppyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01571489259897997518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9866194.post-34999875760966353622011-11-06T18:48:45.445-08:002011-11-06T18:48:45.445-08:00Dating for men can be like walking through a mine ...Dating for men can be like walking through a mine field, walking on sharp glass or over Hot Coals.<br /><br />I believe that both sexes have a bad reputation in the eyes of the opposite sex about the Post-First-Date Game because the Signals, Boundaries, Expectations and Values were being sent as a lot of different signals. Men and women sometimes only receive the signals they want to receive and not are what is being sent.<br /><br />While previous dates might seem to be good comparisons you should always start a new friendship or dating with a new clean slate of Signals, Boundaries, Expectations, and in keeping your Values.<br /><br />Being a Christian is more than just saying you are a Christian. It is what you do that is important and this is for both men and women.<br /><br />You say that one of the previous men you dated “Didn’t get the message”. Was it because the signal that was received prior to the date and on the date was something he did not understand or HIS EXPECTATION was something different then your expectation.<br /><br />I believe that no women should ever do anything under pressure from a man. Once again was the pressure the result of Signals, Boundaries, Expectations and Values were not clearly understood from the very beginning of dating and any relationship.<br /><br />Your comment about saying something that might have been OK is raising a Red Flag. Somehow the date took whatever you said and received the wrong Signal. Then you say it kept going into the Territory That Must Not Be Discussed On A First Date.<br /><br /> This is where you should have immediately mentioned the proper Signal, your Boundaries, Expectations and Values. <br /><br />The date probably kept pressing because you allowed the conversation to keep going into that Territory. Is it possible that your expectations by going on the date were because of the Signals that he gave to you was not really received as to what his expectations were and you did not see that.<br /><br />Sometimes men need to be given direction from a woman because we just do not understand the signals you are sending us and what your expectations are. Why he is not calling could be as simple as you have confused him. It could also be that he just plain lost your telephone number and is just too embarrassed. Yes he could be hibernating in his Cave trying to decide to call or not call. If he has not called within 4-5 days forget about him and when the next First Date happens make sure that you send the correct Signal, set the right Boundaries, Let him know what the expectations are for you on the date and always keep your Values.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9866194.post-13716450408779364842011-11-06T15:19:54.770-08:002011-11-06T15:19:54.770-08:00Ohhhhhhh how much I loved this post. It's so t...Ohhhhhhh how much I loved this post. It's so true!!! I think they wait just to torture us. Makes me c.r.a.z.y.<br /><br />I've been known to break the calling rule. And then I get mad at myself for doing it. See...if they woulnd't wait so long to call, I wouldn't have to cave to calling!Bekahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08455200539913180050noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9866194.post-10936247944245799882011-11-06T13:11:42.351-08:002011-11-06T13:11:42.351-08:00Thanks, Christina! I'll post an update if/when...Thanks, Christina! I'll post an update if/when he calls.SkyePuppyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01571489259897997518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9866194.post-73707192112017832342011-11-06T12:18:31.141-08:002011-11-06T12:18:31.141-08:00Oh my...I do NOT miss dating at all. It's a l...Oh my...I do NOT miss dating at all. It's a lot harder and a lot less fun than it looks!<br /><br />I hope for your sake that he calls, because it sounds to me like you had a nice time (minus foot in mouth!) and would like to see where this leads.<br /><br />Good luck!Christinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09297412590929141055noreply@blogger.com