What Not To Wear

I get cable TV at home, but I never remember what channel has what network on it and what shows are on which networks. All I can remember is the Fox News Channel and TLC. Fox News is my default, but when they head off into Michael Jackson Land (yes, I know that's over, but you get my point) or Aruba, then I switch to TLC and see what's on over there until Fox has time to finish up with Aruba.

That's how I found What Not To Wear. Actually, I think it was Scott Peterson who drove me over there. Definitely not Aruba. Aruba is what keeps me going back.

Having watched What Not To Wear for some time, I've started learning some of the tips for myself. I gave away all the boxy-looking jackets I had and picked up a few new jackets with shape when they were on clearance. When I gained some weight and got too fat for my jeans (tapered leg: BAD!), I bought a couple pairs of boot-cut jeans (they balance out the wide hips of my pear shape). And I turned on a couple friends to the show.

Over the weekend, some of us girls got together at the bookstore and looked through the fashion books on the WNTW theme. They've got books that go through the different body shapes and tell women how best to hide the parts they want to hide and play up the parts they want to show. Important things like: if you've got cellulite-butt, NEVER wear thong panties, and if you have a saggy bosom, wear a shelf-bra so you're not hanging down around your waist.

Next (we haven't set a date yet) comes the visit to the department stores to try on a bunch of stuff and see what looks good. We may take one "victim" at a time, so we can concentrate. We're probably going to do some wardrobe triage and start with the most desperate case first.

I can see this branching off into new areas, though. There are women's ministries at my church, and this whole wardrobe training might be a good idea for one of their Saturday events. We could have drawings of the general shapes in the thin, regular and fat varieties, and talk about how to dress for each one. And we can hope that the woman who wears the short miniskirts with the tight, plunging neckline comes and learns that at 40, she's too old for that and she could look really classy with a few changes in her outfits. And we can hope the tall, slender woman who dresses in sack-like sweaters over sack-like skirts comes and learns how to look fabulous.

Maybe, it could even develop into a side business of fashion/image consulting.

But, no. I'm trying to become a tour director. Best if I concentrate on that, but wear the right clothes in the process.