Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Seeing Jesus

People have been seeing Jesus lately. They saw Him in the driveway sealant smudge on concrete. They saw Him most recently in the the grain of a cabinet door's wood. And not to be too partial to Jesus, they saw God in an eggplant.

Now, I'm of the firm belief that the eggplant is a fake. Sure, I believe the seeds are shaped the way they look in the picture, but egglants are disgusting. Therefore, God would not endorse them by spelling His name in one. Besides, if you look closely, the "o" looks a little more like an "8" than an 'o," so really...

As for the Jesus faces, how do they know? The garage might be John the Baptist, and the cabinet door might be Peter. Who can really say? I used to see all kinds of things in the shapes of the texturing of the ceiling over my bed in my last house.

There was one face I could see over my bed, and it could have been Jesus, because the Bible says Jesus wasn't very attractive. Nobody followed Him because He was a hottie. And the face on my ceiling was unattractive, with big, bulging eyes that always made me think of the space aliens from Area 51 or Roswell or wherever the big, bulging-eyed aliens are from.

It could have been Jesus. It had as much chance of being Jesus as the driveway smudge or the cabinet. Way better chance than the eggplant.

I should have cut out that section of my ceiling and sold it on Ebay.

1 comment:

Jacob said...

Sure, I believe the seeds are shaped the way they look in the picture, but egglants are disgusting. Therefore, God would not endorse them by spelling His name in one.

The exact same reasoning can be applied in determining the validity of any televangelist's claims.