Sunday, December 19, 2010

I've Been Shopping

If I could work my will, every fool who goes about with "Happy Holidays" on his lips should be boiled with his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart!

My apologies to Charles Dickens.

So what holiday could they possibly be wishing me to be happy for? Let's see...

Hannukah is over.

And all the Muslim holidays are over until February.

I suppose there's Kwanzaa, but one look at my pasty-white face would tell them that one's not very likely.

So that leaves the federal holiday that falls on December 25th every year, which somewhere along the way became a Really Bad Word that we must not name in public for fear of offending people who get the day off, even if they don't celebrate it. What's that one called?



Anonymous said...

Holidays between now and the end of the year include Boxing Day, Festivus, Freedom Day, HumanLight, International Human Solidarity Day, Kwanzaa, New Year's Eve, Pancha Ganapati, Synaxis of the Theotokos, Uduvapa Poya festival or Sanghamitta Day, UN Day for South-South Cooperation, and Zartosht No-Diso. Winter solstice festivals around the (nrothern) world include Alban Arthan, Beiwe Festival, Caumus, Dongzhi Festival, Goru, Lohri, Maidyarem Gahambar, Mummer's Day, Shab-e Chelleh, Soyal, Yule. Additionally, the various Christian traditions have a variety of feast days between now and the 31st, including those for Abadiu of Antinoe, Abassad, Abel, Adela and Irminda, Anastasia of Sirmium, Pope Anastasius I, Anysia of Salonika, Dominic of Silos, Ecgwine of Worcester, Fabiola, Pope Felix I, Frances Xavier Cabrini, the Holy Innocents, James the Just, John Cantius, John the Apostle, Liberius of Ravenna, Nicarete, Petrus Canisius, Psote, Ralph of Vaucelles, Pope Silvester I, Stephen, Thomas Becket, Thorlac Thorhallsson, Trophimus of Arles, and Ursicinus of Saint-Ursanne. Some national and regional holidays include Abolition of Slavery Day (RĂ©union), Armed Forces Day (Vietnam), Birthday of the Queen Silvia (Sweden), Constitution Day (Taiwan), Day of Goodwill (South Africa), Emperor's Birthday (Japan), Forefathers Day (Plymouth, Mass.), Independence and Unity Day (Slovenia), King Taksin Memorial Day, Liberation Day (Goa), Macau Special Administrative Region Establishment Day, Mauro Hanza Day (Houston, Texas), Mother's Day (Indonesia), Proclamation Day (South Australia), Quaid-e-Azam's Day (Pakistan), Rizal Day (Philippines), Unity Day (Zimbabwe), and Wren Day (Ireland and Isle of Man).

Happy Liberation Day!


SkyePuppy said...

Yes, my son, Christmas is my Liberation Day.

Happy Wren Day to you!

Malott said...

Dear Pasty White Skyepuppy,

When a person says "Happy Holidays" to you, may I suggest that you respond, "Hmmm... 'Holiday' which is the modern version of "Holy Day' which means you just wished me a 'Happy Christmas'."

Or, just respond in a very loud voice, "And Merry Christmas to You!"

Delta said...

Merry Jesusmas!!!!