Valentine's Day

Sometimes I listen to talk radio on the internet at work. I usually do that when I have something mindless to do. If I have to think, I can't do it with the radio on, so I have background music going instead--something quiet and without lyrics. Today has been one of those music days.

So when a co-worker alerted me to the Dennis Prager show, I really couldn't listen and had to go by what my colleague told me. He said Dennis's guest was a woman who wanted Valentine's Day banned, because not only is it a disaster for single women, it's also tough on attached people because men don't have a clue what women want.

My first response was that this was some whining left-winger who is out to ban anything that makes her feel bad. But my friend assured me that her concern was not for herself but for others. A noble gesture.

Then I thought about it some more. What an incredibly paternalistic, condescending attitude this woman has!

We have to ban Valentine's Day, because some people can't handle their emotions. Somebody might feel bad about being without a True Love today, so we have to protect them from any reminders of their pain, lest that pain turn into shame and then descend into total Loserhood and possible suicide.

Oh, please! Where would we stop? Should we ban Mother's Day, so that all the people whose mothers have passed away don't have to feel bad? Should we ban Father's Day too? Should we ban Christmas because some people are alone that day (oh, I forgot we're already on the way to banning Christmas, but for other reasons)? The same goes for Thanksgiving. Maybe we should think about the feelings of people who don't feel thankful and just drop that holiday too.

And while we're at it, we had better ban St. Patrick's Day, because there must be people who are upset that they have no Irish ancestry and can't join in the whole green-beer festivities.

Really, it's time to stop protecting people from themselves. If your heart aches for the pain of other people, the solution is not to stop everyone else from celebrating. You can reach out to the hurting people and invite them to join you, the way many people invite far-from-home individuals to join them for Thanksgiving dinner.

Part of growing up is learning how to allow other people to be happy even when you're not. It's learning how to be happy for them in spite of your own sorrow. It's learning to see their success as a sign of hope for you someday, rather than seeing their success as somehow taking away from yours.

I don't have a True Love in my life right now, but that doesn't make me want to ban Valentine's Day. People bring chocolate to work--how can that be bad?

We need to start expecting people to deal with life as it is, with all its pain and difficulty, and if they can't, there's professional help available. Our holidays are days for celebrating our blessings, and if we don't have the particular blessing being celebrated right now, then all we have to do is wait. There should be another chance coming along in a little while.