Tinfoil Helmets

Nerd humor is priceless.

National Business Review reported Thursday on a "study" out of MIT from back in February of this year. A few guys at MIT took a serious look at the effectiveness of tinfoil helmets to resist mind control by aliens and governments. The abstract of the study reads:

Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason.

The experimenters, Ali Rahimi, Ben Recht, Jason Taylor, and Noah Vawter, tested three different helmet designs. These were the Classical (shaped close to the head), the Fez (a cylinder), and the Centurion (a high Mohawk look). All three designs amplified, rather than reduced, the frequencies used by the government and by cell phones.

The researchers concluded, "We hope this report will encourage the paranoid community to develop improved helmet designs to avoid falling prey to these shortcomings." Indeed. Perhaps a followup study can look at the innovative design used in the movie "Signs."

The National Business Review's review of the study includes this astute assessment:

There's only one problem: The humour of the engineers is so deadpan, the findings are likely to be cited ad infinitum in conspiracy and UFO journals.

Oh, we should be so lucky.