Monday, August 08, 2011

TMI

But I have to tell the story, because there really hasn't been much else exciting going on in a while.

I've mentioned before that I have difficulty keeping my bra straps from falling down, especially on the left side. So whenever possible, I wear a racerback bra or (now that those are hard to find) a criss-cross style, because the straps actually stay where they belong. Unfortunately, because of the way the straps lie, the straps would show when I wear certain tops, which is really tacky (not that it isn't tacky to go fetching the strap after it slides down my arm).

I found some dress tape at Target a while back. You tape one side to your skin where you want the straps to stay, and then you stick the straps on top of the tape. It works really well, unless you keep the tape there all day. Then it blisters your skin. This is not a good option.

Yesterday I wore a really cute top to church, but this top has a wider neckline that requires the slippy-strap bra, and I opted to forego the dress tape. Church went fine, other than the frequent annoyance over the strap situation, and I came home to find my roomie and a mutual friend getting ready to watch Season 6 of "24," so I joined them.

Sitting there, the Annoyance Factor got too great, and I remembered a bra I hadn't worn in a long time which wouldn't show and which had straps that stayed in place better than the one I had on, so I changed into the other bra and went back to watching Jack without the worry of strap-fetching.

My roomie made us some sugar-free banana splits (sugar-free ice cream with sugar-free caramel sauce on them), and they were wonderful. But shortly after I finished mine, I noticed a wet spot on my shirt above my waist. It wasn't watery, and my first thought was that I must have spilled some of the caramel sauce on myself, so I tasted it but it didn't taste like caramel.

I went in my room to check on it and change tops. By the time I got there, the wet spot was bigger. I took off my top carefully so I wouldn't get anything on my face or my hair, but my belly was wet and slippery where my shirt had been.

Then I figured it out. The bra I was wearing - the one that gave me freedom from errant strapitude - had gel cups (I had needed that bra to help me fill out the top of a dress that fit in the hips but was a bit too big on top, but I don't have the dress anymore). One of the cups must have sprung a leak, and whatever it was filled with was oozing out all over me. Just when I had found straps that stayed up!

I took the traitor off and threw it in the trash and took a shower to wash the gel off myself so I could get dressed in something dry. But I didn't know if the gel was safe (goodness, I had TASTED it!).

Then I remembered that I had another one of those gel bras buried way down under everything else. I found it in a plastic bag with other things I don't wear anymore. Wouldn't you know, that bra felt slimy too. But I found the tag that says what it's made of, and the gel is mineral oil and water. Reassured about my continued survival after having ingested the stuff, I threw the second bra into the trash with its partner in crime.

And when I had to go out for a couple hours later in the evening, I used the dress tape on the slippy straps without suffering any harm.

Sometimes, underneath it all, life is more challenging than we're ready for.

5 comments:

Christina said...

Sorry, but your story had me giggling! I can't believe you actually tasted the gel....Ewwww!

You might want to consider getting measured and fitted (as fun as I know that sounds)somewhere like Nordstroms or Victoria's Secret. I have always heard that when your straps are constantly falling down, your bra actually isn't fitting you properly.

Wishing you better luck with future bra wearing!

Delta said...

Love the story, Skye! I can SO identify with it! A few years back I had myself measured at a bra shop and all was well with the world. Then, as I aged, "the girls" became more fat and less muscle. (I know, TMI again). Anywho, I actually watched one of those cable shopping channels one day when they had a woman on who designed bra's. I listened, decided to try, and YES! I purchased! (It was 2 for $50.00, which is a steal around here for such). The delightful "double-barrelled sling shot" fit well, kept in place, and no strap falls! The name of the company is "breezies", and you can look them up online. Hope that helps!

Malott said...

A visual aid would have helped me comprehend this post.

SkyePuppy said...

Chris, you are absolutely shameless.

But I think we already knew that.

Delta said...

Malott - OH MY!

You made me truly laugh out loud! Only you! ROFL!

Skyepuppy: Yes, we DID. ;-)