I saw this (HT: WorldNetDaily) from the Texarkana Gazette (by Jim Williamson, slightly edited, link here) and couldn't believe the conclusion:
FOREMAN, ARK.--A 38-year-old Winthrop, Ark. man was hospitalized after jumping out the passenger window of a vehicle traveling an estimated 55 to 60 mph to retrieve his cigarette late Saturday, an official said.
Jeff Foran was riding in his friend's 2000 Dodge Stratus about 10 p.m. Saturday near the Arkansas-Oklahoma border when the cigarette he was smoking blew out the vehicle's front passenger window, said Arkansas State Police Trooper First Class Jamie Gravier.
Foran jumped out of the vehicle to retrieve the cigarette and hit the pavement, causing facial trauma.
The driver of the car, Jerry Glenn Nelson, 44, of Haworth, Okla., was asked by Foran earlier in the evening to be Foran's designated driver, Gravier said.
Foran was to drive Nelson to his residence in Winthrop.
"Foran did the right thing and asked his buddy to drive him home. Foran showed up at Nelson's home about 45 minutes earlier saying he (Foran) was too intoxicated to drive home, Gravier said.
"Nelson said Foran was smoking a cigarette when it blew out the window and Foran jumped out the window to retrieve the cigarette. Nelson said he was driving between 55 and 60 mph when Foran jumped out," said Gravier.
Foran was lying on the pavement bleeding profusely from the nose, eyes and chin.
"He also had a substantial case of road rash (abrasions from sliding on the pavement)," said Gravier. "It was obvious he was extremely intoxicated and this man was hurt."
No charges were filed and Gravier had no information Sunday afternoon on Foran's condition.
"If anything could make him stop smoking, this should be it. The man is lucky to be alive," said Gravier.
"If anything could make him stop SMOKING?" Since when did smoking cause anybody to jump out the window of a car at 55 mph?
No, the problem is Foran's heavy drinking. It gets to me how much we've demonized smoking, to the point that otherwise intelligent people mistake it for the cause of other problems. If Foran wasn't a smoker, but was holding a pencil in his hand and dropped it out the window, it'd be a fair bet that he'd have jumped right out after it and wound up in the same condition.
Naturally State Trooper Gravier would have said, "If anything could make him stop holding pencils, this should be it."
Come on! Foran was extremely drunk, which made him Extremely Stupid.
I hope Foran gives up drinking. I don't care if he gives up smoking--chances are it won't be what kills him.
By the way: No, I don't smoke, never have, don't have anybody in my family who does, and I think it's a disgusting habit.
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