Thursday, May 19, 2005

Pepsi Implosion

Let me start by saying that I don't understand the appeal of Mountain Dew. This whole Pepsi thing is bringing out the closet and not-so-closet Dew addicts. Irish Pennants, Write Wing Conspiracy, and one of the callers to Hugh Hewitt's show have confessed their addictions--and I've only scratched the surface of bloggers blogging on the subject.

And the subject is: Pepsico. Or rather, the commencement speech that Indra K. Nooyi, President and Chief Financial Officer, gave at Columbia University Business School (full text here). In this speech, she compared the five major continents (Australia & Antarctica were the ignored continents) to the fingers of the hand.

First, let’s consider our little finger. Think of this finger as Africa. Africa is the little finger not because of Africa’s size, but because of its place on the world’s stage. From an economic standpoint, Africa has yet to catch up with her sister continents. And yet, when our little finger hurts, it affects the whole hand.

Our thumb is Asia: strong, powerful, and ready to assert herself as a major player on the world’s economic stage.

Our index, or pointer finger, is Europe. Europe is the cradle of democracy and pointed the way for western civilization and the laws we use in conducting global business.

The ring finger is South America, including Latin America. Is this appropriate, or what? The ring finger symbolizes love and commitment to another person. Both Latin and South America are hot, passionate, and filled with the sensuous beats of the mambo, samba, and tango: three dances that – if done right – can almost guarantee you and your partner will be buying furniture together.

This analogy of the five fingers as the five major continents leaves the long, middle finger for North America, and, in particular, The United States. As the longest of the fingers, it really stands out. The middle finger anchors every function that the hand performs and is the key to all of the fingers working together efficiently and effectively. This is a really good thing, and has given the U.S. a leg-up in global business since the end of World War I.

However, if used inappropriately – just like the U.S. itself - the middle finger can convey a negative message and get us in trouble. You know what I’m talking about. In fact, I suspect you’re hoping that I’ll demonstrate what I mean. And trust me, I’m not looking for volunteers to model.

Discretion being the better part of valor...I think I’ll pass.

What is most crucial to my analogy of the five fingers as the five major continents, is that each of us in the U.S. – the long middle finger – must be careful that when we extend our arm in either a business or political sense, we take pains to assure we are giving a hand...not the finger. Sometimes this is very difficult. Because the U.S. – the middle finger – sticks out so much, we can send the wrong message unintentionally.

Unfortunately, I think this is how the rest of the world looks at the U.S. right now. Not as part of the hand – giving strength and purpose to the rest of the fingers – but, instead, scratching our nose and sending a far different signal.

That's the crux of her speech, the part that has caused the uproar. America is the middle finger of the world. In both the good and the bad way.

In writing, the strength and lasting impression of a sentence or a paragraph is what is presented last. Nooyi left her listeners with the emphasis on America as "The Bird" not America as the leader.

People are livid. They should be.

Ms. Nooyi has apologized. Twice. Unfortunately, her apologies ring of the "gee, I'm sorry you had to go and get your feelings hurt by what I said" variety. Pepsi's VP of Consumer Relations, Christine Jones, said in the second apology (an email), Indira Nooyi "clearly regrets the reaction that this unfortunate episode has caused."

Yeah, I'll bet. But does she regret what she said? Does she regret slamming the country that has treated her so well? Does she regret not mentioning the good that America does in the world? So far, there's no sign of any appropriate regret.

I went to the Pepsi website, and did a search on "nooyi" and didn't get any matches. On the parent company (Pepsico) website, their Latest News and Press Releases only showed a Mountain Dew promo dated 05/17/05 and a Response to Shareholder Question dated 05/05/05.

To quote Hugh Hewitt, "Where is the CEO?"

Pepsi is going without an official response to this slap in the face of America, but the issue isn't going away. The blogs are posting like crazy, and then some.

Helpful links: Pepsi's products, if you're boycott-minded. Pepsi's officers and directors.

I need a Coke.

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