I have a drinking problem, and it reared its ugly head today. Unexpectedly. Uncontrollably.
I was minding my own business, having a cup of tea, when the problem hit: I forgot to stop breathing when I needed to swallow. You'd think by now that I'd have the process down pat, but obviously not. A mouthful of tea, a drop of it in my lungs, and I was facing my computer. Yes, the danger was great.
My lungs tried to cough, my lips tried to stay shut, and my tongue tried to swallow even more. I won't go into any more detail than that, other than to say that by the time the danger had passed, I had to wipe a little tea off the keyboard. And I think, for the first time I can remember, I snorted some tea through my nose.
Such is the shame of my drinking problem. Don't let it happen to you.
6 comments:
Isn't it terrible when you're in the presence of other people when you're spluttering on a drink that went down the wrong way, and in embarrassment you try to make it as dainty and un-feral as you possibly can, but it never works?
Happens to me all the time.
(I shudder to think what kind of crap I've coughed up on my keyboard. Ew)
Jacob,
It's best not to even think about what's on your keyboard. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.
Well now here is a post that interests me.
Have you ever passed solid food through your nose... Like a pea or maybe a cheeseburger?
I can think of no better ice-breaker or conversation starter than for a statuesque, sophisticated woman to pass food or drink through one, or perhaps both, of her nostrils.
...A woman of stature and distinction, to be sure.
If I might add just one suggestion... A point of ettiquette... After such an event, once the coughing is under control... Tis best to smile ever so slightly and remark, "I meant to do that."
I went to school with this guy, who could snort jello up his nose and then spit it out his mouth.
It was amusing in first and second grade, but high school, not so much.
Chris,
No, I've never managed to snort solid food out my nose. Did you really snort a cheesburger?
I appreciate the ettiquette lesson, though. I hadn't thought of saying that.
Janice,
You'd think the Jello Kid would have learned more mature tricks by high school, things like lighting his farts on fire with his buddies... My high school had an unofficial Blue Flame Club for that.
Skye
I read the title and thought..."OH NO!" Then as I read the rest, my sympathy became empathy! I could almost feel that "burning" in the sinuses when liquid is in the nostrils! :-) Thanks for the laugh, it is welcomed!
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