Yes, I know this isn't the time for Santa, but the news has been depressing, and I needed this.
It started when my office-mate showed me an email she was copied on, to a guy named Hao, but the person sending the email spelled it wrong, so it said, "Hi Hoe." We got a good chuckle, then she said she knew a woman named Hoa, and I said I did too, and she's married to Santa. Hoa's husband is retired, but he has the mall-Santa gig every December, with the real beard and the real belly.
So my friend said she also knows a guy who looks like Santa, only this man and his wife are really "crusty," so when little kids come up to him and ask him if he's Santa, he gets mad.
Another one of my friends, when her husband was still alive--he also looked like Santa, beard and all--was visiting their grandkids, when the youngest asked Grandpa if he was Santa. My friend said, "Shh... We try to keep it a secret, or else all the other kids won't leave him alone." The grandson kept the secret out in public, but when they were at home, Grandma and Grandpa milked it whenever they could. "Let Grandpa get some rest. He's got a big day coming up soon." Wink, wink. They played along until the grandkids didn't believe in Santa anymore.
It's good to look like Santa, but only if you have the disposition for it. "Jolly is as jolly does," and all that.
But if you're a crusty guy who looks like Santa, do the world's kids a favor. Shave the beard.
2 comments:
Which reminds me... because of your Mr Magoo Christmas video post I bought "Scrooge" the musical with Albert Finney.
I kind of look like Santa except for the belly, the beard, the hair, and the face. I'm a little crusty once in a while... But being single, a healthy male, and a Christian... I have my reasons.
Well, if you're going to put it that way, I look like Santa too, except for the belly, the beard, the hair, the face, and the "Mister" factor.
I don't see you as crusty, though. Crusty is a perpetual condition, like Mafia victims encased in cement. What you call crustiness is more fleeting than that. If you ever did grow the beard and belly, small children wouldn't need to be afraid of you.
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