Friday, April 18, 2008


There are some words that you've never heard before, but the minute you hear them, you know exactly what they mean.

My daughter was telling me about a conversation she had with some friends. R. (he) and E. (she) are close friends, and someone else told my daughter that R. is gay.

"He is?" my daughter said. "I didn't know."

"How could you not know?"

"I don't have gaydar. It was never installed."

The minute my daughter said the word, I knew what she meant. And it's the most perfect word for that meaning, because it's concise and precise at the same time.

I think she inherited her lack of gaydar from her mother.

For me, a person's sexual orientation is as obvious to me as corporate politics is: I have to be smacked over the head with it (or be told outright) before I even notice.

On this season's Project Runway, I knew that Christian was gay, because he made himself so flaming you couldn't miss it. Chris was also more in that camp. But it wasn't until Kevin said he was the only straight guy on the show that it occurred to me that Rami must be gay too.

It's just not something I ever think about, because really, what does it matter in day-to-day life? It doesn't. My mama raised me to be nice to everybody, and that's a lesson I actually learned pretty well (Thanks, Mom!).

Still, I love finding a new word that's this beautifully perfect. Gaydar is so much better a word than Nomophobia.


Anonymous said...

"Gaydar" is, like, forever years old. Although some people say you can't really have gaydar unless you yourself are gay.

For the record, mine works all right, but it yields too many false positives.


Jacob said...

Haha, what anonymous said. Gaydar has been around for centuries.

Oh, and don't feel bad. For four years I felt like the only gay kid in my year at school, not realising that my friend James was as queer as they come. "I would be so hot if I were a girl" is one of his many telltale quotes from that era.

Now I pretty much assume that anyone who is well spoken, or has nice hair or wears decent clothes is gay.

SkyePuppy said...

Anonymous and Jacob,

I have no delusions that I'm actually up on the current terminology. My blog is here to prove how sadly behind-the-times I can be.

Just the same, it's a fabulous word.


Are your false positives the metrosexuals, like John Edwards? You know, the guys with perfect hair who turn out to have a wife or girlfriend?

Anonymous said...

"Anon"? You don't recognize the initials that you yourself gave me?

"Metrosexual" is a terrible word that no one should ever use.

My false positives are mostly based on voice and accent, and probably clothes to an extent—not trendy clothes necessarily, but just clothes that you wouldn't exactly expect to see on, say, a frat boy.

And, I'll be honest, probably 60% of my false positives stem from wishful thinking.

Jacob said...

ESM, jeez.

But yeah, I agree with you on metrosexual being a stupid word that should never be used. Metrosexual. It's about making straight people feel bad about not being utter slobs who bash their girlfriends.

Wishful thinking: I do that too. Frankly it's infuriating that most of the gays I know/have met are gruesome. Then there are the good looking but bitchy fags who shit me to tears. Why aren't there any good looking ones with nice personalities? I can't be the only one.

Malott said...

"Now I pretty much assume that anyone who is well spoken, or has nice hair or wears decent clothes is gay."

I am so obviously straight.

SkyePuppy said...


Of course I recognized the initials. But I picked up on the lack of "son" as a hint that you wanted to be more anonymous than usual, which is why I went with "Anon." Wrong again. Sigh.

Moms know everything. Except when they don't.

SkyePuppy said...

Jacob & ESM,

OK on the "metrosexual."

New note to self: If the mainstream media uses a word, it's already passé.


Frankly it's infuriating that most of the gays I know/have met are gruesome.

I worked with a gay guy a couple jobs ago. He was the nicest man, and he had this incredibly beautiful smile. One day he brought his boyfriend to work.

The boyfriend was hard and dark and greasy and repulsive. It was as though our co-worker went into hell itself to choose his total opposite. What a waste!

Whatever you do, don't get gruesome.

Anonymous said...

That media thing is good advice. It also applies to Internet slang, youth slang, and black slang. Basically, if you hear CNN describing what a word means, it's probably already done with.

Why can't more young gays have long hair? Why must they all cut it short? LE SIGH


Jacob said...

Long hair is so played. Besides, so few dudes manage to pull it off without looking homeless.

And if I wanted to date a guy who looked like a girl, I might as well just date a girl.