Sometimes I think I should just stop reading the news, it gets so ridiculous. But I make the sacrifice, so you can be as disgusted as I am.
The Telegraph (UK) reported Saturday about the dangers of Valentine's bouquets.
The Valentine's Day bouquet — the gift that every woman in Britain will be waiting for next week — has become the latest bête noire among environmental campaigners.
Latest Government figures show that the flowers that make up the average bunch have flown 33,800 miles to reach Britain.
Environmentalists warned that "flower miles" could have serious implications on climate change in terms of carbon dioxide emissions from aeroplanes.
"Serious implications." Not minor ones.
Vicky Hird, of Friends of the Earth, said: "We don't want to be killjoys because receiving flowers can be lovely but why not grow your own gift?"
Yes, they do want to be killjoys. Environmentalists don't want you to travel for "frivolous" reasons. They don't want you to drive in comfortable cars. And now they don't want you to surprise your wife with a bouquet of flowers.
Ms. Hird doesn't seem to realize that if a husband starts growing roses (red ones) in the back yard, his wife might figure out what he's doing, and the surprise would be ruined. Besides, how many British men know how to time their rose-growing so the flowers are just right for Valentine's Day? It takes a professional for that.
And if husbands and boyfriends cave in to the pressure by environmentalists and give chocolates instead, how long would it take before the environmentalist decry the greenhouse gases produced by shipping chocolate? It becomes never-ending.
Appeasement is never the answer. Fight back! Stop the killjoys. Send your sweetheart some flowers for Valentine's Day.