A Question of Evolution

My daughter asked me this. "If evolution is true and we descended from apes, then why do researchers tell us that our anatomy is closest to pigs?"

Really, how can we be like pigs and apes at the same time? And did the pre-humans have hooves before or after our toes were opposable thumb-like digits? How exactly did all that happen?

I mean, I can see how the nose evolved over time from the two nostrils in a pushed-up snout (which still lingers in some haughty people who look down their pushed-up noses at other people) that gradually narrowed and turned down, since we didn't need such powerful noses anymore for sniffing out truffles. And the freedom from having to find truffles also allowed us to walk upright, since we no longer needed our noses so close to the ground.

The ability to put on excess fat and the difficulty in losing the fat again is a pig-like feature that still remains with us in our evolved state. And we kept the mostly hairless skin from our pig ancestry too. But the hooves just had to go. Our uprightness forced evolution to give us fingers and toes.

I have to wonder, though, why evolutionists talk up the ape-link rather than the pig-link, when it's so obvious to researchers (and anybody else with any sense) that we're so much like pigs. What's in it for them, anyway?