Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Remote-Controlled Vasectomies

When I drove through West Texas, I think around El Paso, I saw billboards (plural) advertising vasectomy reversal surgery.

In Florida, there are billboards (also plural) advertising vasectomies. Microsurgery. No surgical instruments of torture...

What I get from all of that is that Texans want to have children, and Floridians don't. This last point is driven home by all the billboards in Florida advertising the latest housing developments. They all show older, retired couples who are smiling in their childless state.

But the Daily Mail (UK) reported today that soon both Texans and Floridians can have it their way--even if they move from Texas to Florida and then decide they want to go back to Texas again.

Vasectomies could be a thing of the past thanks to a remotecontrolled implant that can stop the flow of sperm.

The valve-like device can be opened and shut at the press of a button, using the same technology that locks a car using a key fob.

Men who change their minds about having children would then simply point the remote handset at their testicles and press a button to open up the valve.

The more indelicate details are in the article.

I hope there's a button on the fob that men can press to tell them if the thing is open or closed. I mean, what if they thought they hit the Off button, but they didn't push it hard enough? Wouldn't their wife's plans for medical school get derailed if they accidentally left the gate open? Trust but verify, right?

What will they think of next...?


All_I_Can_Stands said...

Trust but verify, right?

Thanks for lightening my dreary day with that witty line.

SkyePuppy said...


I keep wondering what happens if the toddler the couple already has (the one that makes them want to shut the gate) finds the fob and starts pushing buttons over and over. This gizmo definitely needs a verification setting...

Jacob said...

What I get from all of that is that Texans want to have children, and Floridians don't.

I think it says more about how Texans are really indecisive.

Moment of immaturity: Sperm is a gross sounding word.